I hope this helps, from a letter to a friend:
L'havdil, a few years ago a local boy died from congenital heart problems. It was a shock, because everyone, including the doctors and family were sure he was well. It was a Shabbat 1st day Succot, and need I tell you more, the shiva was delayed until after Simchat Torah. the parents took the other kids around; they didn't stay home moping. And then Motzei Smchat Torah they started a week's shiva.
And during shiva, one "gets up" for Shabbat, and if there's a holiday, it's stopped.
Our halachot teach us that there's a time to mourn and a time to be cheerful, like in Kohelet. We need self discipline for Judaism. Kashrut, Taharat Mishpacha, etc
You can do it,
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